Be aware the following words may just be the result of 110 degree weather in NYC driving me to just say everything…
Writing that title was actually harder than getting Noah away from the sprinkles in the park. In fact it seems like my brain or I guess lungs do not know the basic definition of just breathing. Yes, I’m alive that technically means I am breathing, right? But its not the breath of live i’m yearning for. I find my self hour after hour trying to yawn moving my neck from side to side just hoping its not an anxiety attack. It wont be, its just my body searching for clarity. You see in a world like the one we live in, or like the one we individually create there seems to be little room for staying still.
From Monday Morning To Sunday evening we move so fast we don’t get a chance to admire 0ne of the most beautiful aspect of our life. A simple breath. In my case i know the root of the problem and maybe I’m just a masochist.
Waking up and opening the Instagram/snap chat/facebook search pages, checking bank accounts, rereading late night messages,(rethinking each word that was NOT suppose to be said) and finally running to the scale to make sure your not getting “fatter”. This little routine is what is taking my precious breath away. Well, in the morning, and we all know the morning is what puts us in motion. They might seem like the things regular people do each day. They are, and it is perfectly healthy … that is until it is not.
Personally I have allowed certain aspect of “normal people” life to take over. Im constantly on Instagram and the only thing i see (besides ASS) is picture perfect marble white counter top homes. The perfect make up vanity, the perfect mom with the three toddler all whom apparently never cry or eat cheesy potato chips. and then I see my self nearly holding it together, no time for a simple manicure or hair appointment. A Toddler who’s favorite words are NO and MINE, and no desire for pretty just greasy food.
The first things to pop on my mind in the morning is always society or the next move.. (the day is long enough for that). There is also no need to keep tabs on Instagram paid models or “perfect” moms. (they are doing their job, i need to do mine). No thats not good, and the main problem with this is, i am to busy looking at other peoples life to enjoy the amazing one i have in front of me. With crazy heat, messes, temper tantrums and all. In the time that i am gazing over how perfect everyone is I can be working on me. Doing the things I love. Reading, writing, or just sitting with Noah.
Sometimes it takes self analyzation (something we should all do) to change a simple routine, for the better.
TOP FIVE THINGS I WILL CHANGE MOVING FORWAD (if any one is reading this hold me accountable..maybe you should try it to)
- BE GRATEFUL: taking 10 minutes in the morning right after waking up and 10 minute right before bed. no phone, no book, no journal. Just me, my mind, the world and my gratefulness. ok in the evening i might have some lavender tea as well.
- EATING IN PEACE: This might seem a bit old school but it is still good to eat at the dinner table. Again no phone, no netflix, audio book. Just me and my meal.
- 30 MINUTES OF ME: this might sound selfish to some specially the picky moms that always have something to criticize. But these 30 minutes a day will be spend doing something anything that will be a part of my self actualization.
- WEEKLY MEDIATION: Wouldn’t it be beautiful if i could say daily meditation. But lets be honest thats not going to happen. Some might consider the 10 minutes each morning and evening as a form of medication. and i agree. However I have an entire Meditation ritual (more on that on another post) that i prefer to put time in to.
- BREATHE: this might be the hardest one because its the only one i have no control over until i learn how to. One might not realize it but actually inhaling and exhaling with meaning does not come easy. Just like the practice of a “meaningful life”.