Thoughts to us.

For me the only thing that will determine how successful my day will be is how proactive my morning is.

Never mind..

As I am tying to write this post on why are morning affects how successful are day is. I honestly went to another place. Many people might not understand this (unless your a dreamer). But this entire week my body did not belong to my self until now. As I am sitting on top top of a bar stool looking out my window, I am admiring the New york City landscape. I have the NYCHA in  front, the One train to my right and Columbia University a few blocks down. I can see the lights from New Jersey and sense the evening cold. Rush hour that only NYC has on a Saturday. However I needed this time to realize I am where I need to be.  This is the place the Universe intended me to be at at this specific moment.

Realizing this means so much to me specially during this time. You see this was the year I was meant to graduate College. I was suppose to be a CCNY Psychology graduate. But no I still have some more to go. So being on Facebook and Instagram has not really helped.  Do not get me wrong I am very Proud and honor that so many people I went to school with have graduated this year. But I kept thinking why not me? Why has everything always been extra hard and why am I never on the same page as everyone else?

And the answer is simple yet very hard to understand. BECAUSE I AM WHERE I NEED TO BE NOW.  I am at the perfect point at my life. I no longer get discourage because I know what is out in the world for me. I no longer expect to do the same as others, because I will never be others. I no longer look down at my self for being a “single mom” that has not yet finished college and lives with her mom.

I look at my self as the mom who has had to sacrifice  not seeing her child grow in front of her eyes because she has to work and go to school full time to finish her degree and have her home. The women who needs to wake up at 5am to study before the baby wakes .The women who knows herself because she failed so many times; she knows its never really a failure but a way of getting up to be stronger. A women who has learned to love the world but be selfish with her time; because it is hers.

So to everyone who might read this one day, just know that when ever you do read this is because it is the right time. I would say do not get discourage because you are not in the place you intended to be at. But no,  use the discouragement as an anchor to know that its your time and only you can change it and do something about it.

Be selfish with your time, priorities and dedication; because only after you accept your current situation you will be able to see what the next step really is.

Tiffany <3

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